Hey, y’all, it’s been a minute since my last post, and I want to thank you for your patience. I took the time off for many reasons, and the primary reason was to get my head back on straight.
You see, for the last year, I’ve been bouncing between being extremely motivated and being extremely sad. I’ve been motivated by coaching, trying to get the word out, having fun, and helping as many people as possible. And I’ve been grieving the loss of the career I worked towards for 13 years. After bouncing one too many times, I decided to take some time off to figure out what was no longer serving me. I’m sharing it so that if someone else is going through a similar situation, they may see what I did.
So here’s what I’ve leaving behind.
Solo Travel Fears - I went to the mountains by myself, walked around by myself, and hung out with, you guessed it, myself (People knew where I was and when I was coming back. You still need to be safe.). I had some anxiety, sure. Maybe a lot. What if I got bored? What if I got lost or stuck? What if I never wanted to go back? I had plenty of time to think about these fears, too; it was a long flight followed by a long drive. The thing is, I haven’t had that much unstructured time ever, even when I was living by myself I had a strict routine. I got to reintroduce myself in the time that I had. I learned about things I wanted for this phase in my life. And I could put aside my sadness, instead leaning into a newfound sense of curiosity. Instead of focusing on my sadness and the grinding halt in my career, I asked, “Who could I be?”
8 Hours of Sleep - That’s right, I’m no longer committing to 8 hours of sleep per night. I discovered that I actually need 10 hours of sleep! I’ve been walking around like a snippy, drunken zombie, upset that I was always exhausted. It turns out that I’m one of those adults who needs more sleep than the average person. And that’s ok. I couldn’t always prioritize rest, especially when working several jobs with weird hours or balancing a heavy course load in school. Working hard never let me feel like I could also play hard because I just wanted to sleep. I learned to prioritize rest and play, and I’m reintroducing work to my schedule at the pace that works best for me.
Fear of Creating for Others - I love to make things for myself, and I was terrified to make things for others. Earlier this year, I crocheted a sweater for a friend without her there to try it on, and it was a disaster. During my break, I made dice bags for my D&D group. It was a relatively simple project, and I was certain I would mess up. I did mess up, and they loved the bags anyway. I’m considering this as we build Skillsopolis, our new game for graduate students. I’m probably going to mess up something. I don’t know what, and I don’t know how. What I do know is that mistakes are a part of my creative process, and I don’t want mistakes to keep me from sharing that creativity with others. There’s a chance they will love what I built just for them, and who am I to keep my talents to myself?
Taking time for me was revolutionary. I’ve never had any chill. And if I can continue coaching, sabbaticals, breaks, and 10 hours of sleep will always be factored into my schedule. I know not everyone can take time off, and I am so, so, so grateful for the resources we had in place that allowed me to work on myself.
If this post resonated with you and you’d like to see if we’re a good coaching match, please schedule your free 15-minute call. If you want to join Skillsopolis - Graduate Student Edition, please check out this page.
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